My experience with Gender Dysphoria – Part I

This is the first of a sequence of posts in which I describe my personal experience with concerns and confusion over my gender.  This was hard to write and even harder to put out in public.  Please be kind.  I’ll discuss my earliest childhood memories here up through junior high or around when I was 16 years old.

I cannot remember ever not wishing to be female.  My earliest memories involving gender revolve around my interactions in playing with my siblings.  I am the oldest of the children and my younger siblings are very close to me in age.  Growing up we were best friends, fought rarely, and played together all the time.  We’re all very creative and imaginative, so we’d often play pretend.  We’d be grown-ups, teenagers, dinosaurs (The Land Before Time influenced us greatly!), or other animals.  Almost invariably, I’d pretend to be a female animal, dinosaur, or human.  This cross-gender pretending wasn’t done by my brother or sisters, but none of them ever seemed bothered by it.

I played regularly with both ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ toys… I had some Transformers, My Little Ponies (Firefly and Magic Star were my favorites!), Glofriends, but most of all I loved Legos.  As I got older, my interests continued to straddle both stereotypes.  I was very interested in arts and crafts, computers, music, math and science, painting, video games, and crochet.

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